Santa is Kinda a Creeper
Ever step outside our western culture for a minute and think, "man, our Christmas traditions are so weird!" ?
Check out what we tell our kids:
An old man goes around sneaking into our houses at night, eating our food, and likes to put candy into their socks.
A rose by any other name would certainly be called KREEPER!
Let's take that culture lens and apply it to Christmas trees. One month of the year everyone goes out and buys a tree. Not to plant later or keep inside as a house plant. A DEAD, well make that DYING tree. To be placed in our homes, adorned with jewels and accessories and then we sit back to watch it slowly die over the next 30 days.
Yeah, traditions are weird.
But we love them! Heck I've even been convinced to love a real tree over a fake one so much, I'm willing to spend $50 on a dying tree of my own every year!
Embrace the Crazy
So let's get on board with the merriment and mirth and wilting evergreen gasping for life in the corner. And let's keep that baby green for as long as possible!
Cut an Inch Off the Bottom
Unless you cut down your own tree from the forest or a tree farm, make sure the vendor slices about an inch off the bottom of the tree.
Pour on the Preservatives!
We have been using this for years. I've yet to do a scientific comparison to see how much if at all it really extends the life of our tree. You see, I'm not eager to buy two trees and let one die faster than the other in the name of science.
Bottles like this are relatively cheap, usually cost a couple bucks, and if you don't want to spend the money, there are plenty of recipes for DIY mixes online. I turned the bottle over to see the ingredients.
(if pine oil comes from pines, and fir oil comes from firs, where does BABY OIL come from???!!)
Do you use a preservative? make your own? I'd like to know what you think of them!
Watering with Wine (Bottles)
Here's where my breakthrough idea comes in. This revelation happened by accident when I needed to water the tree and happened to have empty wine bottles on my kitchen counter. (Don't know how those got there) They make perfect Christmas Tree water vessels!
Watering cans don't work because there's not enough clearance to tip it. The garden hose is out. How am I suppose to get water in there?!?
Enter the wine bottle. The long, slender neck fits nicely into the tree stand, under the branches, and holds enough water to keep that tree going for a couple days.
Just fill 'er up in the sink...
And stick it under the boughs... and pour it out!
er, I said, pour it out!
Apparently getting an "Under the Tree" shot is what separates the men from boys in photography. I did my best to capture the sight, but the difficulty level rivals catching the moment of conception of a baby panda in the wild.
This was the best I could do. I was on the floor, holding back the tree branches with my appendages with all my might, balancing the camera in very unladylike fashion.
With that flattering mental picture of me in your head, I better just stop here.
How do you water your